Yes, this blog has fallen into a state of neglect of late, but after my domain name renewal came and went I figured if I’m going to keep this blog going I’d better figure out a way to do so that keeps you entertained and me motivated.
So over the next week or so I’m going to monkey with the themes, the formatting, and the style. Hopefully the results will be something that works for me and for you, my loyal reader.
My son talked to my nephew over the weekend. Apparently Thing One and Thing Two took The Baby over the weekend. WT called them, literally, every 20 minutes to ask how he was doing. Things came to a head when Thing Two was on the phone and saw WT calling on the caller ID. She ignored the call. Fifteen minutes WT calls again. Thing Two again doesn’t answer. When she does get off the phone it almost immediately rings. Thing Two answers to find WT asking how the baby is. Thing Two tells her the baby is fine, sleeping, and she needs to stop calling every fifteen minutes.
Shortly after, KKKousin calls, saying WT is hysterically crying because Thing Two was rude to her. They took The Baby back to her shortly after this.
And rather than continuing to call him The Baby, I found a new name for him. Seeing as I’m 1/4 Cherokee, this is what I’m going to call him, spelled out phonetically:
dah dah sss doe dee kaw nah tee
If asked, it means noble warrior.
In reality, it means Spear Chucker.
The other day BlackDaddy apparently called Thing One and Thing Two’s house looking for WT to tell her that his mom died or something. Thing Two told him that WT wasn’t there and after he hung up she got his cellphone number off of the caller ID and sent a picture of the baby to his phone with the message “Congratulations! It’s a boy!”
This is the first time I think that BlackDaddy has heard that WT had the baby. Thing Two is kind of my hero now.
WT is also telling people that her and KKKousin had a DNA test that proves the baby belongs to KKKousin. I have several issues with this:
So allow me to throw the Bullshit Flag on this… until I see an actual DNA test, I hold fast that the baby belongs to BlackDaddy.
More on this as I learn more.
First off, let me thank my wife for saying that after yesterday and causing me to walk around ever since with “Baby Got Back” running through my head.
Thanks, baby. And no fair punching me on the way home when I start humming The Chicken Dance.
… great, now that’s running through my head too.
Anyway, yesterday my nephew came over to hang out with my son. Apparently WT has been at his house with The Baby since Wednesday and D (my nephew) needed to get the hell out of the house. So his mom and aunt (Thing One and Thing Two) drove him to our house and brought The Baby. WT had left The Baby with them on Wednesday night and asked that Thing One and Thing Two bring him back to her Friday night, as she needs a break from him.
After two weeks.
And when they brought him over they shared with us some of the insanity that WT has been visiting on this poor kid.
But more on that later. Without further ado, I present:
The Baby!!
My wife is holding him in this picture and I purposely left her in the image when I cropped it to give some perspective. Notice how white my wife is? And notice how white The Baby isn’t? Yeah.
The Baby has brown eyes. WT has blue eyes, KKKousin has green eyes. My memory of high school biology is a bit hazy, but if memory serves the odds of that happening are rather slim. During the few minutes that her sisters were there we were treated to more of WT’s craziness. Craziness that I share with you, my loyal reader.
It’s a bit hard to tell from that picture, but in addition to the *ahem* not-whiteness of The Baby, his skin has a bit of a red tint to it, which I understand is common in newborns. WT says the red comes from him being Indian.
Ever have someone say something to you that actually makes your brain click and stop processing anything else for a few minutes? This was it for me. I’m 1/4 Cherokee and you can’t really tell from looking at me. The Baby does have a bit of Indian blood in him; my wife has some Indian blood in her (Blackfoot) but not as much as I do. Even assuming the baby is indeed KKKousin’s the two of them don’t have enough in them to make it visible in the kid. I said “she realizes that the term ‘redskin’ doesn’t mean what she thinks it does, right?” Apparently not.
She has also apparently returned alot of the stuff she was given at her baby shower. Thing One and Thing Two bought her several pairs of PJ’s for The Baby and when WT brought The Baby over she told Thing One she didn’t have any PJ’s for him. She also claims the only place The Baby will sleep is in his stroller.
She also tried to tell Thing One that The Baby doesn’t like to poop in his diaper, so what she has to do is occasionally take his diaper off, put it under him and hold his legs up so he can take a dump.
She apparently tried to get money off of Thing One for a pack of cigarettes. Thing One told her no, in no uncertain term.
So after they left with The Baby we talked a bit and have decided that KKKousin HAS to be starting to realize something is up with this baby and WT wants to spend a couple of days trying to smooth things over. Either that or she’s going to spend the time in a drug addled haze with him, since they both have a history of drug use. I don’t think she used during her pregnancy, but I certainly wouldn’t put it past her.
Yesterday afternoon, a culmination of 9 months of drama came into the world.
Yesterday afternoon, WT unleashed her crotch-spawn onto an unsuspecting world.
It was a boy.
The only thing unknown at this point… is a question for the ages. A question on all our minds:
“Who’s yo daddy?”
As of right now, we don’t know… we’re not talking to WT, and to be honest even if we were it’d be kinda crass to say “hey, is yo baby black?”
So we’ll just have to wait, but hopefully we’ll soon know the answer:
Is the baby destined for NASCAR and mullets, or is it destined to be adopted by Brangellina?
Stay tuned…..
I work in the IT Department of a hospital as a Help Desk technician. I understand that not all people are computer people… as I told a caller once, “they don’t pay me to be a nurse and they don’t pay you to be a computer geek.”
My patience just about reached its limit the other day, though, when someone called me and said “what does it mean when the little light on the monitor is flashing green and there’s no picture on the screen?” I respond “Is the PC on?” After a few seconds, I hear “that was it. Thanks!”
/headdesk
So I happened to be in the elevator on my way to take care of another issue (something else retarded… I had to look at a laptop that wouldn’t power on; turns out it physically wasn’t plugged into the power outlet in the wall) when, in one fluid motion, I turned off the fan in the elevator and, to be delicate, “let one go.” The doors opened, I got out, the doors closed and the elevator made its way to another floor.
So if you happened to be in a Northeast hospital a few days ago and got into an elevator, only to be greeted with an odor that singed the hair in your nostrils, you have me to thank.
And you’re very welcome.
As some of you know, I work in the IT Department of a hospital on the Help Desk.
The only other coworker here on the Help Desk asked me if he had time to “take a leak” before I leave to go fix a laptop and head home. I said sure, go for it.
This was going on ten minutes ago.
He’s a smoker.
If any of you are smokers then I appologize for this rant, but dammit, it’s YOUR addiction. Don’t make me suffer for it. If you can’t fit your smokes into your regular breaks and lunches then get a patch or some nicotine gum. I don’t think someone should be allowed extra breaks to smoke.
He’s back. And I’m off.
The baby shower has apparently come and gone with no communication from her sisters about the shower, but there was still some drama.
Our nephew (Hippo from my old blog) called my son towards the beginning of last week and asked if he could come over during the baby shower. We told him sure, as long as he got his own ride to our house and back.
We get home from work Friday and our son mentions that Hippo is bringing his Xbox360 with him when he comes over. I told my son to call him and tell him not to bring it, for two reasons:
1) Read this post. While my dogs have never munched a controller of any of our systems, I didn’t want to take the chance.
2) I had planned to get my son an Xbox360 over the weekend. He’s in the National Honor Society, scored a 1750 on his PSAT and is getting piles of college solicitations everyday. He even got one from Notre Dame.
So Johnathan calls him and tells him to leave it at home, which apparently Hippo agrees to do. And all is good.
Until…
Saturday morning Hippo calls my son asking if he wants to go to a movie with him and his friend Steve. We don’t allow Johnathan to ride with Steve, as the one time he did Steve took great delight in driving like an asshole, doing close to 90 on the interstate and laughing about it. Johnathan told him he can’t go, because he’s not allowed to go anywhere when Steve is driving, and then Johnathan looks at me and says “he’s bringing his Xbox.”
I told Johnathan to tell him that we told him not to bring it and he needs to leave it at home. Hippo then starts arguing with Johnathan about this, and I hear Johnathan telling him “dude, just take it home. My parents don’t want it here.” He finally gives me the phone and I proceed to argue with Hippo for the better part of five minutes. He says he has no choice, that he’s taking it to his friend’s house and his parents won’t be home when he drops it off. I go back and forth with him, with me telling him I didn’t care, that he knew he was told not to bring it so he had better find a way to get it home. He refused, saying he didn’t see why having his Xbox at our house was a big deal, I told him I didn’t really care that he didn’t think it was a big deal, I told him I didn’t want it at the house and he needed to do something else with it.
And the fat bastard hangs up on me.
When I told my wife this, she took the phone from me and called his mother and relayed this all to him. The response she got was “don’t worry, he WON’T be bringing that Xbox to your house. We totally understand why you don’t want it over there.”
And we hear nothing else… we’re still expecting Hippo on Sunday, but at around 10am he called from his other aunt’s house asking Johnathan if he wanted to come over there and hang out. Johnathan told him no, he had stuff to do at home (like play his Xbox360).
And that was it… Hippo is the most disrespectful kid, and we’ve never done anything but try to be nice to him. And this is what we get. Spit on.
Screw him… as far as I’m concerned at this point I’m minus one nephew.
After months of silence in the WT saga, things are steamrolling forward.
My wife works in the radiology department of the same hospital I work in. When all of the drama with WT exploded it all happened at work, while a fair number of my wife’s coworkers looked on. So the people she works with were aware of the whole story, for the most part. One time WT even went as far as to tell the technician doing her ultrasound (someone that my wife knows) “if the baby is ugly or retarded I’m giving it to my sisters to raise.”
My wife had also noticed that WT had begun scheduling her ultrasound appointments for later in the day, when she (my wife) wouldn’t be there. This, coupled with where WT was picked up and dropped off after the party, had us suspicious that WT was back with KKKousin.
So my wife’s been pretty disgusted with this whole situation but was willing to go to the baby shower… WT is family, no matter what.
But that all changed today.
My wife got to work today and one of her coworkers said “WT came in here for an ultrasound with some guy.” My wife said “what did the guy look like?”
And she describes KKKousin perfectly.
This infuriates my wife to no end. After all the crap we did for her and all the drama WT brought to my wife’s place of business, this is what she does. And then she tries to hide it from everyone.
Let’s back up a bit… several weeks ago my wife got a call from one of her other sisters saying that they were hosting a baby shower for WT. She told my wife that WT needed sleepers and bottle liners. My wife said she’d get sleepers but not bottle liners. She was also asked to bring deviled eggs, which we normally do when there’s some sort of family gathering.
So fast-forward to today. After being told about KKKousin from her coworker, my wife called the sister hosting the baby shower and confirmed that not only was WT back with KKKousin, but she was bringing him to the shower.
I’m going to pause here a bit… go read my old blog (linked here for sake of convenience.) Read how KKKousin treated her.
How do you think my wife reacted to this news?
She told her sister that she wouldn’t be coming to the shower. She told her she never wanted to see WT again and as far as she was concerned she was no longer her sister. As my wife put it, “she came to where I work and basically spit in my face. I’m done with her.”
I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ve heard of this. Stay tuned… I’m sure there’ll be updates over the weekend.
Yesterday was my youngest nephew’s birthday. My wife and I didn’t go (the party was Sunday at 3:30pm; we were told about it Saturday morning at 7:30am) but my sister-in-law Claire picked up our son and took him to the party, which was held in a local bowling alley. On the way they stopped and picked up WT, since she doesn’t have a car.
WT was staying with someone that lived across the street from KKKousin. When they arrived to pick her up she came not out of the house of the person who she was staying with but out of KKKousin’s place, saying she had to “pick up a few things.” She hasn’t been living there since this whole mess started, so you can draw your own conclusions as to why she was there.
After the party my son walked out to wait for Claire and WT (and everyone else that was riding with them). The two of them followed him out a few minutes later and WT proceeded to light a cigarette. She takes a huge drag off of it, blows the smoke out, turns to Claire and says “I can’t believe how my maternal instincts have already kicked in.”
I wish I could make this stuff up.
So they drive WT home, and she ask that they drop her of at KKKousin’s house because she left her keys there.
Yeah, and your baby is going to be born to a stable, loving household, WT.
So it’s plainly apparent to us that she’s living with KKKousin again. She’s apparently decided the baby is his and has convinced him of the same. I really hope he’s in the delivery room with her. And I really hope the baby comes out dark as Wesley Snipes.
We also got a call a few weeks ago from an attorney’s office looking for WT at our house. The message left on our machine said that WT left our number as a contact number. I called the attorney back and told them that I had no idea where she was, had no way to get in touch with her and did not want any further messages left for her as they wouldn’t be delivered.
No clue what that was about, but we think maybe she was inquiring into the legality of first cousins marrying in New York State.
Sadly, it’s legal.